Psychological Solutions For A Better Life

Posts tagged ‘Stress’

Is Stress Killing You?

boat sinkingStress is practically unavoidable, isn’t it? How damaging stress really is, most people are not aware of it. And many of those who are aware of it are rather at a loss of what to do about it. When we google STRESS, there are 234.000 thousand websites that offer some commentary on the topic of STRESS. Given that it is becoming more and more of an epidemic, these commentaries and advises don’t seem to make much of a dent in the problems stress is causing people. So what are we doing wrong?

  • First of all, most people mistake the cause of stress. That is a big problem, because if you think your cause for being hungry is the lack of exercise and you subsequently exercise more, you are barking up a very very wrong tree.
  • Secondly: most people use tools, skills, and techniques that – for a fleeting moment or two – relieve a person’s stress but do not address the cause of it. That’s like providing a sinking rowboat with a bigger bucket … no no no, you have to fix the leak!

If STRESS is something that plagues you, you might want to start learning about the origins of stress and what it does to your body. Most people don’t take stress serious enough. IT IS A KILLER and it pays to ACT NOW!  Watch the U-Tube clip and when finished, make contact with me or another health professional you trust! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYG0ZuTv5rs

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Does going into retirement mean to live without sex?

imageThere are a number of myths surrounding the older generation and  their sexual practices. I remember when I was in my late teens my friends and I discussed whether our parents would still have sex. The unanimous response was “NO WAY”.  Our parents would have been in their late 40s at that time. Not much has changed over the last 40 or 50 years. There still seems to be a ban on talking about senior citizens and their sexual experiences. What did you think when you looked at the above picture? Be honest! (more…)

The Art of Listening

woman-listening“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”  This quote from Stephen R. Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change) describes succinctly the problem most people have when communicating. Most courses and trainings refer to ‘active listening’ as a desirable practice, yet it teaches people to listen to the words, the content, and then repeat it back to the speaker.

In contrast, deep listening as I understand it is listening for the meaning behind the words, is listening for the feeling that the words are pointing it. In a way, it is listening with a sense or curiosity WITHOUT checking with our own mind whether it makes sense to us, we can relate to it, whether it is stupid/reckless/naive to name just a few examples. If we would listen that way (checking with our own mind) we would only listen to our own thoughts about something and not to the other person. (more…)

Stress Is Bad For You!

openmind1Stress is bad for you! It is a major health hazard of our time. Stressed people don’t think clearly, make un-wise decisions, have strained relationships, and engage in unhelpful and unhealthy behaviours.

Contrary to popular belief we don’t have to contend with stress. There are very few areas that are as much ridden with myths as the area of feeling stressed. Can you imagine that sitting an important exam, being stuck in traffic, being late for work, facing a financial crisis, dealing with chronic illness, seeing your marriage under threat, or learning that your child is in big trouble is not leading to overwhelming stress but peace of mind resulting in wise and creative actions?

Let me show you in my 3 Hour seminar how you can put a stop to being stressed. There are no techniques to learn; just bring your open mind to understand how stress is created so you can un-create it. Whether you are 14 or 64, when it comes to being your best at school, in exams, at home, or at work, you need to be stress free to be at your best.

Book you place in my STRESS BUSTER Seminar. For the month of May I have a facebook page action offering this seminar for $49 per person. Get this ‘50% off ‘ voucher by liking my page. After April the seminar will be back to the normal price of $98.

Thoughts About canoeing on the Whanganui River

I am going on a canoe trip down the Whanganui river this coming weekend and I am really excited! Ever since we had a cottage in Taumarunui I have wanted to paddle down the river. There is something very special about this beautiful part of New Zealand. When you ask me where I lost my heart, I will answer without hesitation: “Taumarunui” – not Paris, London, Berlin, Rome, Athens, or other places of ancient culture and great beauty. There is something untouched, old and raw, tranquil, unspoiled and scary about the Ruapehu district that touches something in me and makes me melt inside. (more…)

Think for Yourself

This morning I came across an article called “How energy vampires drain your spirit and soul” suggesting that negative, demanding, inconsiderate, and un-boundaried people drain your energy, leaving you exhausted and depleted. To protect yourself from such drain it is suggested that you limit contact, set boundaries – indeed the author came up with 11 ways to do so. The only thing missing was garlic.

Of course, like all vampire stories, the idea that a person can drain your energy isn’t true either – even though there may be a lot of people who believe that other people, circumstances or events can ‘DO’ something to you. However, human beings are just not built like that. Sorry! We don’t come with power sockets or USB ports that other people can – without our consent – plug into and upload or download files, feelings, thoughts, or for that matter energy. (Actually, in ‘the land of psychiatry’ the notion that someone can make you do things or gives you thoughts or feelings, is an indication of psychosis). Let me show you what I mean:

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Stress: How can I stop that?

When I talk about stress I mean all these feelings that come as ‘entourage’ of thoughts of worry, fear, anxiety, and all forms of obsessive thinking. Most people, when they think about it, see that their feelings are directly connected to their thoughts – thoughts about circumstances and events people consider worthy of feelings of worry, fear, or anxiety.

The next question I often hear is “How can I stop them?” quickly followed by some ideas how to think positively, to go for a run, meditate, do DBT or EFT, mindfulness, or some other interventions depending on what ideas people are leaning towards. The idea is – and it is a reasonably good one – to change the problematic thought. Think positive, reframe, meditate, or go for a run, to name just a few. However, as most people know, today’s problem is quickly replaced by tomorrow’s dilemma … and so on, and so on …!  (more…)

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