Psychological Solutions For A Better Life

Posts tagged ‘Self-Help’

Back To Basics: Self-Care

In times of crisis and heightened stress the first rule of conduct is: BACK TO BASICS. In order to be able to keep up with the extra pressure on your emotional and physical functioning, its vital that you look after your basic needs first. You can only be of help to others when you are taken care of. A car without petrol is no use to anybody … it won’t run.

Make sure you get some decent amount of food – actually, foods high on carbohydrates (sugars) have a stress reducing effect – and don’t forget to stay hydrated. Without enough fluids we humans tend to not function that well. It is also important to get enough sleep, and if you can’t sleep, get some rest somehow. Stay active by either helping with the clean-up, running, cleaning up your yard or house, giving a hand to people in need.

It helps to stay away from alcohol, recreational drugs, and cigarettes. These substances compromise your thinking speed and quality, and they are an extra stress on your body.

The Importance Of Social Support When Trauma Strikes

The world has seen devastating catastrophic events such as natural disasters, extreme poverty and famine, wars, political terror, slavery, and the abuse of individuals on a grand scale. Yet, in the aftermath of devastation, traumatized individuals have usually been able to recover and rebuild their lives and their countries. One characteristic of human societies is that people come together and seek closeness with others to help with the integration of traumatic experiences. “Emotional attachment is probably the primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness; it is essential for biological survival in children, and without it, existential meaning is unthinkable in adults” (Kolk & McFarlane, Traumatic Stress, 1996, p. 24).  Seeking and giving support when traumatic events strike is one of the most effective ways to help people cope.

Improve Your Sex-Life

Love-3 Sex is the most profound and intimate way people express their love to each other. Through the ever increasing access to information through traditional media and the internet we are very well informed about the many different ways people enjoy and pursue sex and sexual gratification in their lives. Even though one might think we have been 'immunised' and desensitised by explicit sexual depictions in public, in movies, and in the media, sex or the lack thereof is still a very reliable barometer of the quality of people's relationships with each other.


What Helps When Your Are Grieving?

Butterfly blue back Losing someone or something you have cared about deeply is a huge blow to your SELF-system. You might as well look at it as a SELF-crisis. At a time like that it is of utmost importance that you reduce the stress by making sure your physical and emotional energy does not get depleted.  Looking after your physical and emotional well-being in times of grief and sorrow is one of the most important and useful steps you can take to help yourself. You can look after your emotional health by finding ways to express your feelings.


10 Instant Stress Buster

In line with the topic of ‘Stress’, that has been the focus
of my last newsletter, here now a few tips of what you can do to deal with


Swearing: It may be hard to believe, but
research has shown that swearing can release stress.  If you are in a stressful conflict situation
with your boss, partner, or friend, you might want to leave the room, go to the
bathroom to wash your hands and vent your frustrations. It’ll help you to be
less tense. When you come back you can approach the other to find out how you
can together solve the dispute.


Hugs ‘n Kisses: It’s proven by research, hugging
and kissing is good for you. It releases the hormone oxytocin, a feel good hormone
associated with love and bonding. You can see, there is a reason that we feel
like hugging a friend or loved one when we see them sad or in distress! So
don’t be shy and give hugs and kisses abundantly.


Find The Hoku Pressure Point: This is the fleshy
part between your thumb and index finger. If you are stressed, massage this
point for 20 to 30 seconds and you will feel an instant relief. Physical
therapists know that it is a universal pressure point for releasing upper body
tension. You can this simple intervention everywhere: at home while watching
tv, at work, or at your desk.


Leaning Back: This advice is for those people who
hold stress in their back. If you experience back pain, especially in your
lower back, experts advice you to lean right back when you sit on a chair, for
example. Ideal angle seems to be 135 degree. Another good exercise for back
pain is: lay on the ground, flat on your tummy, put your hands right next to
your shoulders and push your upper body upwards as far as you can while your
hips remain on the ground. Hold that position for a while, and then lower
yourself back to the ground. Repeat this several times!


Watch Something Funny:  Can’t find anything funny on TV? Have a browse
through the video clips on You Tube. I think this clip with the cat and the
is pretty funny!


Make a Budget: Often people’s stress is around
money issues – usually a shortage of money for the things you would like to
have or HAVE TO pay. Making a budget often helps with getting your incomings
and outgoings sorted. You can see where any tight spots are and go about
finding solutions more easily. Download a budget forms here.

Having Sex: This is in the same bracket as ‘hugs
and kisses’ above. Research is pretty clear that having sex is a pretty good
stress buster. Of course that only counts for those of you who enjoy sex
generally and for whom having sex is not a trigger into bad memories from the

Have a run/exercise: Exercising in nothing new,
but let me put it up here again. Exercising regularly is not just a great stress-buster
it also seems to have a preventative function when you get into the habit of
exercising regularly. It’s best to work up a bit of a sweat and get the good
old heart pumping!


Organise your Tasks: Being organised is a
perfect antidote to getting stressed. While some stressors are unavoidable, you
can eliminate a lot of stress in your life when you get into the habit of being
organised. Make a plan for each day, what you have to do, where you have to be.
Rank the items according to their importance, so that you don’t end up having
done a lot of things but the important tasks remain unfinished!


 Having a
Most of the stress busters mentioned above can be done in an instant
you just have to make up your mind. You might need a bit more preparation to
organise a massage. What kind of massage depends probably on your preference.
Do you like a more sporty massage that involves deep tissue work and intense
working on your muscles, or do you prefer a softer massage with nice aromatic
oils and soothing music? No matter which one you prefer, both will de-stress
you and give you a sense of well-being.

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