Psychological Solutions For A Better Life

Posts tagged ‘mind’

I Am Who I Am: A Reflection On The 3 Principles

I woke up this morning with the thought “I am who I am” on my mind. A peculiar thought for me at 6AM in the morning. Intrigued I started reflecting what that might mean for me and everyone else for that matter. The bible tells us God said to Moses: “Say this to the people of Israel, I AM has sent me to you”. ‘I AM’, no qualifier, not quantifier, just “I AM”. No more and no less. As if anything more would be limiting, taking away from, not doing justice to the speaker. And by doing so it can become everything.

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So, here I am who I am (we are who we are). Not what you think about me, not how people judge or put their cherished expectations on me, not even what I think about me and my cherished expectations of myself. I am not a sinner nor a saint, not a mother, a teacher, a therapist, a lover, a cook, a wife, a sister, a daughter, or a philosopher. I am much more than that! I am neither clever nor dumb, soft nor harsh, beautiful or ugly, fat or thin, kind or malicious. I am all of that and none of that. That complexity is what makes us human beings so exciting as well as scary to be around. For the ‘Other’ we are what they see in us, but that’s not really who we are, it’s only the bit they recognize, the tiny bit that was revealed to them or they became aware of.

We are an expression of nature or in other words ‘the life force’ I like to call it MIND, others call it other things like ‘God’ that breathed life into us and gave us the power of THOUGHT, the ability to think and make sense of the world around us and within us. The third principle is CONSCIOUSNESS, our ability to become aware of and bring to life what we think.

Who AM I? Who are we? We are the sum-total of how we used Mind, Thought, and Consciousness to come to an understanding of ourselves and our world. Everything that ever happened to us or around us, we interpreted and we came to conclusions what that meant about us and about the world. How safe is the world? How safe are people? Is Life benign or malignant? We all are a product of how well we used Mind, Thought, and Consciousness over our life span.

How I have used the 3 Principles of Mind, Thought, and Consciousness over time to make sense of my past and my world has made a difference when I hesitated to cross certain ‘bridges’, not trusting the bridge, the people, or myself. I am sure I missed many opportunities to create something positive that way. How I used the principles to make sense out of my world has at other times enabled me to cross bridges with verve that sometimes lead me to a ‘better’ place while at other times left me ‘stranded’. Like the ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ – it was a pleasant walk, a very pleasant walk, but it didn’t lead anywhere.

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I am who I am! Not how I have made sense of my past, or achievements, or disappointments. These are just thoughts. They are not reflecting reality, they reflect my current thinking of a certain time. My past was my past. It really happened. But how and what I think about it has been changing over the years many times depending on my state of mind. When we can see that our thoughts are just thoughts, not reality based evaluations about us or the world but fluctuating all the time, we become free. Then everything is possible, then “WE ARE WHO WE ARE – I AM WHO I AM.”

Am I at peace with myself? Yes and No. At times, when my mind wanders to pleasant moments, attached pleasant feelings flow through me and I am happy and at peace. When my mind wanders to moments of unmet needs, discord, or conflict, unpleasant feelings wash over me like a tidal wave. At those moments I am not at peace. If at those times I know that these moments are just echos from the past, unpleasant thoughts that I now remember and that cause unpleasant feelings, I can let them go and they become a passing thought, soon replaced by another, and then again by another, and inner peace is restored fairly quickly. If at those times I forget that my unpleasant feelings are just passing through thoughts of my past, if I give them a life of their own, let them into my house and cherish them for an hour, a day, or even longer, inner peace will take its sweet time to come to me, usually taking longer than I would prefer.

This will go on and on as long as we live. Nobody escapes this law of nature, these 3 Principles. However, what I do know is that when I am surrounded by people who respond in a caring, supportive, respectful, and loving way my thoughts usually wander into hopeful, uplifting realm of possibility and creativity. When surrounded by criticism, disinterest, or even disrespect, my thoughts wander more easily to negative and painful realms, awakening difficult and unpleasant feelings. At those times I need a lot of energy to hold on to ME and wall up against the negativity which leaves me with less room for creative life choices.

I am who I am – and life’s circumstances do not determine my well-being, but the way I think about these circumstances do. However, just like a fish is more alive and agile in clear, healthy water, so am I – so are we. It pays to check regularly the quality of the water we swim in to make sure we swim the best we possibly can.

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Only One Step to Happiness: End of Story

rel ships happyOver the last 20 years positive psychology and positive thinkers have suggested that by simply following a number of steps ‘Happiness’ is in our grasp. Who would not like the idea?  But wait a minute …. if there were only 3, 5, or 7 steps to Happiness, would people not have achieved it by now? People are not stupid – at least not the majority. So what is wrong with the picture?

Happiness is not a commodity, a trade-able good that can be acquired by following a prescribed formula – like how to start your car’s engine. (more…)

Auckland Three Principles Group for Sustainable Wellbeing: Why not to look back

2011-05-Monster-MAC-Bike-punctureThe Auckland Three Principles Meet-up Group (check out here their website)  is a place to learn about and deepen your understanding of the Three Principles as formulated by Sydney Banks and practiced today in many countries by a growing number of facilitators / coaches / counsellors in a wide number of contexts: business, personal growth, prisons, schools, families, sport, and high performance activities.

We had an interesting meeting last Friday during which we explored how people sustain their well-being. I would like to share one topic that comes up really frequently and … hence again last night as well: Why it is not useful to look back!  It is easy to say “don’t look back – you are not going that way”, but people seem to get caught in trying to understand the thoughts that caused their distressing feelings. (more…)

Love is Everywhere!

 

The subatomic particles
love each other so much
they form an atom,
which loves the other atoms
so much they get together
and form a molecule
which loves the other molecules
so much they bind together
and create matter
material reality
which is so attracted
to other matter
that it collaborates
and cooperates
and works together and creates
binding together
and life is born
and love amplifies
love animates
our very
existence
To not recognize
the overwhelming amount
of love present
in the world
around you
is to just be blind.

Wake up

Poem by – Eric Allen Bell
click the link to get to his website (more…)

Eliminating Stress Effortlesly

Stress is a major contributor to serious physical and mental health problems. Conventional ways of dealing with stress through medication or stress management strategies don’t seem to be effective, because the occurrence of stress is on a constantly increasing upwards curve. Learning how to deal with the stress of running late for a meeting doesn’t seem to help people with dealing with a truant teenager.

Conventional methods only treat the symptoms but don’t address the cause of a person feeling stressed out. I am conducting several Information Evenings that will show

you are only one thought away from

~ Being stress free and having peace of mind
~ Bringing out the best in yourself and people
~ Maintaining mental and emotional stability
~Dealing with any problem easily
~ Finding your internal resilience and wisdom
~ Being in control

What would you say if you could be shown the principle how to put stress from relationships, work, family, parenting, or life in general behind you simply by understanding your mind and your ability to think?

What would you say if I showed you that you have the ability to access peace of mind and happiness in an instant?

Wouldn’t you want to know about it?

You will not have to learn new ways of doing things or talk about problems from your distant or recent past.  All that is required is a sense of curiosity and interest in finding out about your most precious part: your MIND.

To find out more follow this link

Lets Talk About Stress (1)

I would like to share an observation I made when was at a social meeting the other day. Almost everyone talked about stress. Most people didn’t have any problems identifying their source of stress: There was no shortage of problematic teenagers who either were on drugs, truant, or absolutely diabolical to their parents, husbands were overworked and came home from work late, work, housework, mortgages, young children, old children, fall-out with in-laws, the earthquake situation in Christchurch … the list was endless – and I didn’t even mention stress people experience because of past traumatic experiences that intrude into their daily lives.

 Stress-free in an instant

The conventional treatment recommendation for stress is: Bang your head here! Maybe not literally, but as an analogy, stressed people are advised to take this, do that, breathe, visualise, change their environment, change job, take time out, go on holiday, ….. the list is as endless as there are people. If nothing helps you can go on antidepressants or worse on anti-anxiety medication. I read in the New Zealand Herald last year that job-stress in Australia costs $950 million per year.

You can see that there is a universal agreement that stress is caused by environmental circumstances, or better, by circumstances that are outside of a person’s control. Well, I am going to put the fox amongst the chickens by proposing, that this is completely wrong. On top of that, thinking that the cause is outside of people’s control is also the reason that stress is not getting any less but increases all the time. Simply because life will throw difficult situations at all of us. From pimples in the late teens to arthritis in the early sixties, difficult situations will occur. Wouldn’t it be better to deal with the cause of stress rather than with each individual incident?  I am pleading against my own economical interest here because the current stress theory provides people like me (therapists, counsellors, coaches, and all sorts of alternative ‘health’ professionals) with a steady flow of clients.

A new paradigm

I would like to introduce the notion that stress is caused by each individual through their thinking process, thus from the inside-out and NOT through circumstances and things thus not from the outside-in. The bad news about that is that people are causing their own stress – the good news is, once people understand how they produced stress in their mind, it is within their control to change that in an instant! Wouldn’t that be desirable?

Stay tuned for the next part of this article! PLEASE

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