Psychological Solutions For A Better Life

Archive for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

Is Stress Killing You?

boat sinkingStress is practically unavoidable, isn’t it? How damaging stress really is, most people are not aware of it. And many of those who are aware of it are rather at a loss of what to do about it. When we google STRESS, there are 234.000 thousand websites that offer some commentary on the topic of STRESS. Given that it is becoming more and more of an epidemic, these commentaries and advises don’t seem to make much of a dent in the problems stress is causing people. So what are we doing wrong?

  • First of all, most people mistake the cause of stress. That is a big problem, because if you think your cause for being hungry is the lack of exercise and you subsequently exercise more, you are barking up a very very wrong tree.
  • Secondly: most people use tools, skills, and techniques that – for a fleeting moment or two – relieve a person’s stress but do not address the cause of it. That’s like providing a sinking rowboat with a bigger bucket … no no no, you have to fix the leak!

If STRESS is something that plagues you, you might want to start learning about the origins of stress and what it does to your body. Most people don’t take stress serious enough. IT IS A KILLER and it pays to ACT NOW!  Watch the U-Tube clip and when finished, make contact with me or another health professional you trust! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYG0ZuTv5rs

Does going into retirement mean to live without sex?

imageThere are a number of myths surrounding the older generation and  their sexual practices. I remember when I was in my late teens my friends and I discussed whether our parents would still have sex. The unanimous response was “NO WAY”.  Our parents would have been in their late 40s at that time. Not much has changed over the last 40 or 50 years. There still seems to be a ban on talking about senior citizens and their sexual experiences. What did you think when you looked at the above picture? Be honest! (more…)

New Beginnings

20140107-145801.jpgIn my preparation for coming ‘back to work’ I glanced through old comments and notifications and found a comment left in 2008 “How do I know I am with the right therapist”? I don’t know how I answered back then, but today I thought “What an interesting question”. How do therapists/counsellors know that they are right for a particular client, and how do clients know that they are with the right therapist?

Often both clients and therapists fall prey to the assumption that therapy is the only path to recovery and/or that therapy with a particular therapist is the only path to healing. This is a dangerous assumption. Let’s not forget, the client is doing the healing, not the therapist. The capacity of the seed to become a fully grown, healthy plant is within he plant, not with he gardener. He or she is only providing an environment in which that growth can accelerate. When the seed is not growing the gardener has failed to provide the appropriate environment. (more…)

Only One Step to Happiness: End of Story

rel ships happyOver the last 20 years positive psychology and positive thinkers have suggested that by simply following a number of steps ‘Happiness’ is in our grasp. Who would not like the idea?  But wait a minute …. if there were only 3, 5, or 7 steps to Happiness, would people not have achieved it by now? People are not stupid – at least not the majority. So what is wrong with the picture?

Happiness is not a commodity, a trade-able good that can be acquired by following a prescribed formula – like how to start your car’s engine. (more…)

Stress: How can I stop that?

When I talk about stress I mean all these feelings that come as ‘entourage’ of thoughts of worry, fear, anxiety, and all forms of obsessive thinking. Most people, when they think about it, see that their feelings are directly connected to their thoughts – thoughts about circumstances and events people consider worthy of feelings of worry, fear, or anxiety.

The next question I often hear is “How can I stop them?” quickly followed by some ideas how to think positively, to go for a run, meditate, do DBT or EFT, mindfulness, or some other interventions depending on what ideas people are leaning towards. The idea is – and it is a reasonably good one – to change the problematic thought. Think positive, reframe, meditate, or go for a run, to name just a few. However, as most people know, today’s problem is quickly replaced by tomorrow’s dilemma … and so on, and so on …!  (more…)

Being in the market for ‘Good Feelings’

I love going to the farmers market on a sunny Sunday morning. Actually, I love going to the market any day of the week, it’s just that normal week days are often too busy for a leisurely walk through stands filled with inviting fruit and vegetables, nick knacks, pots and pans, old rusty tools, tempting pastries and cakes, clothes and pottery to name just a few. On some days I am going home with bags full of goodies, on other days I just stroll and buy nothing.

I woke up this morning thinking how close life resembles the market. There is so much on offer, there are so many different experiences one can have, yet I don’t have to ‘buy’ into it. The stand holders can’t make me buy anything if I don’t want to. Sometimes I let myself be talked into buying something I later regret. Still, it’s me making the decision to buy. My thoughts about what I see in front of me create a feeling of wanting which then leads to a purchase. (more…)

It’s All In Your Mind

My friend Tanya Kennard has created a  unique weekend retreat in Arkles Bay.  Explore the logic behind human experiences, resiliency, and the human potential for love, wisdom, and peace of mind in the restful environment of one of North Shore’s stunning Bays.

Tanya Kennard-Campbell has years of experience working as a ‘Principle based’ recovery and resiliency facilitator /coach in mental health recovery and prevention as well as delivering resiliency programmes to communities, schools, and parents.  (more…)

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