Most people have enough common sense to mind the weather forecast. You can see that on the motorway when all the cars are slowing down as soon as it starts raining heavily. I remember back when we had a sailing boat, we wouldn’t go out when the winds were so high that the risk factor out-weight the pleasure that could be gained. Of course, there are most likely some exceptions, some people are dare devils who zoomed along the motorway with high-speed totally ignoring the conditions.
Most people however ‘drive to the conditions’. If the weather is particularly nasty, they might even elect to stay at home. It makes perfect sense considering that driving in stormy weather is not pleasurable, it’s dangerous, one’s field of vision is impaired, and you might not get very far.
What has that to do with relationships you may ask? Hundreds, thousands, or even millions of relationships could at least improve if not be rescued when people would ‘drive to the conditions’ when they are in a ‘stormy mood‘. If a person is caught in a stormy/bad mood (depressed, sad, hurt, angry, furious, anxious, fearful) her/his thinking has spiraled down into negativity, darkness, and hopelessness. Everything appears pointless, menacing, or sinister. When caught in such a thinking=feeling-weather-storm people are often compelled to act immediately. Understandably because they feel so bad and want to DO something for the bad feeling to go away.
But is it wise? It’s kind of like going for a drive when a tornado is hitting your town, or going out with the boat when a gale is blazing. What happened to grandma’s advice to count to 10, take time out, go to your room?
For most people doing nothing at this moment would be counter intuitive. They might not take out a boat in a gale storm, but they don’t use that particular piece of common sense in their relationship. Yet in an emotional storm, there is no wisdom, no foresight, no common sense ruling one’s actions. To improve/rescue your relationship there is one piece of advice that has the most far-reaching impact. It is DO NOTHING. There should be a law against people talking to each other when they both or one of them is in a bad mood or an emotional gale storm. Do nothing and ride out the storm! Don’t be afraid, the (perceived) problem will not disappear.
Wait till the emotions (yours, your partners, or both) have cooled down and the mood is floating up to a place that resembles more a state of peace of mind. Then your vision will be clearer and not distorted by negative thinking. When you come to experience peace of mind again and still find the ‘problem’ or ‘circumstance’ needs addressing, you are in a better position to argue your case and put your partner in a better position to really hear what you are saying.
This common sense approach to sustainable, happy relationships is base on the 3 Principles of Mind, Thought, and Consciousness formulated by Sydney Banks. Contact me if you want to know more about how to be happy in your relationship(s) by DOING NOTHING