More and more people understand that there is no such thing as a soul mate, THE ONE that makes me happy. Any relationship can work out as long as people want to make it work. That leaves the onus squarely in the court of each individual. There are 5 mistakes which – if you can avoid them – will almost guarantee you a sustainable, loving relationship.
I am going to share a few thoughts about each “mistake” over the next few days to avoid writing a novel in one go. Simply because I hate having to read a topic of interest that gomakes es on over ’79’ paragraphs. As Einstein said so eloquently “If you cant explain it simply, you haven’t understood it well enough”.
# 1 > Your State of Mind
When people first meet they are taken in by the other person. They in a high mood, a high state of mind and enamoured and excited about each other. They look for all the personal features and habits that are endearing and positive. Both partners feel good and enjoy having found someone who is so wonderful.
However, a high state of mind is impossible to keep. Our mood and our consciousness are in a perpetual shift from low to high and back to low. Not unlike an elevator in a high rise building. Not unlike the weather shifting from sunshine to storm to rain and back to sunshine. This is just the way we are built.
In a low mood, however, everything we view is dark or negative. Rather than noticing what is lovable about their partner people focus on what’s wrong with him or her. The partner hasn’t changed, only our state of mind has and therefore our perception of the other person or, for that matter, the world around them.
Don’t take my word for it. You can try this out for yourself. Take any circumstance or person and see how you react when you are in a good mood versus when you are in a bad mood. It’s really not rocket science, its common sense.
So what to do when you are in a low mood and your partner/child/friend/colleague can’t do anything right in your opinion? Remind yourself that its your state of mind that you are feeling right now. If you were in a high mood you would feel differently. The missing link is recognising your low mood thinking and take ‘time-out’ until your mood improves.
If this post stirred your interest, join me for one of my seminars or workshops that deal with establishing and maintaining loving, sustainable relationships. Life is too short, you might as well make the best of it! Contact me or leave a comment here.