Sex is the most profound and intimate way people express their love to each other. Through the ever increasing access to information through traditional media and the internet we are very well informed about the many different ways people enjoy and pursue sex and sexual gratification in their lives. Even though one might think we have been 'immunised' and desensitised by explicit sexual depictions in public, in movies, and in the media, sex or the lack thereof is still a very reliable barometer of the quality of people's relationships with each other.
If a couple has relationship problems, if one of the partners feels hurt, mis-understood, rejected, disregarded, disrespected, ignored, or angry, sexual intimacy declines and might even disappear completely.
It appears that talking about one's sexual problems is not easy for people. Not only is the topic for many difficult, there is also a surprising lack of self-awareness and denial at work when it comes to being open about one's sex-life. I often hear "I don't have a problem with sex, I just don't feel like it". Well, there are a lot of things we don't feel like doing and still do every day, like doing the dishes or weeding the garden. If your relationship is important to you and your partner is unhappy about the lack or the 'excess' of sex, it might pay to look a bit deeper into the problem.
You can do so by talking to each other, talking to friends, or if nothing helps talking to a therapist. If you can't afford seeing a therapist, get yourself a self-help book. Whereas self-help books in general have not delivered on their promise to be useful and help people, resent research has shown that sex self-help books are surprisingly effective – almost as much as group therapy! If following the ideas of a self-help book is not helping I strongly suggest you consult a sex therapist. REMEMBER: THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT TO HAPPINESS IS HAVING SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS!