I often liken the exhilarating
state of ‘falling in love’ to Guy Fawkes Night.
It’s a night with lots of excitement created by fire-works of such
beauty that take your breath away and make your heart beat faster. The instant
attraction to another person causes reason and rhyme to vanish whilst the
adventure of meeting someone new begins.
It’s not unusual for that bright
light of ‘falling in love’ to die quickly like fire-works once the new
relationship faces the challenges of everyday tasks and routines.
Unfortunately, the media – and especially the relationship templates offered by
Hollywood movies – bombard us with caricatures of love designed to make
millions of profit. It’s not their intention to up-skill people for better
What then is in story for those
who are not discouraged by the fading Guy Fawkes fire-works and who are willing
to do the relationship work (commitment, passion, intimacy)? My suggestion is,
that they settle in front of a Kent-Fire (for the non-Kiwis – this is a wood-burner
to heat a room or house). Rather than being sustained by one night of fire-works
you’ll get a warm, lasting sense of closeness and dependability from the Kent
Science has shown us that people
get for the ‘Kent-Fire-Feeling’ a helping hand by a hormone released in the
brain called Oxytocin. It’s the same hormone that plays an important part in
the birthing process and in breastfeeding. Oxytocin is believed to be vital in
the process of couples attaching and bonding emotionally. This hormone is
released when you cuddle, touch or kiss each other, and especially when you
engage in sexual intimacy.